Joseph

Isn’t it interesting when we have a bad day or week how other’s rush to your aid to show you love or jump on the bandwagon to jeer you for your failures?
I’ve noticed when I’m feeling good about myself, I always remember the ones who love on me and yet when my low self esteem is at an all time high I tend to remember the folks who are critical of my failures. I know its human nature but I really desire to believe the best about myself even though it’s not always easy.

It’s easy for God to take a person of high esteem and knock em down a few notches with life, than to jack up a person who is down on himself. God can do anything he desires, and sometimes I really believe I am both types of guy but lately so much has happened and my world is falling down around my ears again and I feel lower than a snakes belly. Honestly the worst part of feeling like this isn’t the knowledge of living in a lie, or how I know I should feel better, but it’s the throngs of others who begin to tell me how I should feel. I know everyone means well, but I DO know I have children, I know what a blessing they are, I know I’m striving to be a good daddy, yes I know… this is what keeps me vertical most days, but you’d think I’d developed some sort of amnesia.

I began to read about Joseph in the book of Genesis. You know? Jacob’s boy? I like the story about Jacob and being married to Leah and Rachel. I really do. The bible says Rachel is a hottie, but Leah has poor eyes, but if you look it up, the actual interpretation is “Soft” eyes. She might have a horse face but she has a set of nice peepers the bible says. Jacob gripes about this, but his sex life is WAY out of control… like it’s a burden? Seriously Jake? I’m thinking he just likes to gripe honestly because here is a story of two women AND their maidservants fighting over sleeping with this guy.

The story goes on and is interesting because old Joseph is pretty well thought of as a boy. His dad apparently dotes on him probably because he is Rachel’s oldest boy, and he gets a little cocky with his dream, tells his brothers he is going to be bowed down to because he dreamed it, and they throw him in a well… and honestly? I can’t find any blame for them for that. We feel sorry for Joe because we know how the story turns out, but at the time he is a cocky brat and has to have the stuffing slapped out of him by life.
Now if you continue to read, you find he has a bit of integrity about him and goes a while… a LONG while as a slave and a worker and finally moves up only to be slapped around again and put in jail. It’s not a good kind of jail where there is TV and visiting hours and 3 squares a day. No, this kind of jail is the kind where there are damp, dank nasty conditions and foul smelling prisoners and quite frankly, it’s a gnarly existence, all because Joseph was trying to have integrity with his master. His master’s wife has a pretty…um…let’s say “amorous” need and he is thrown away in a cell, but the bible tells us God remembered him. The really interesting part is this… Joseph had been in prison for a while, he interpreted some dreams for a couple of guys, told them to remember him in front of the king but they didn’t and the bible says two years later, the king has a dream, the cupbearer remembers Joseph at that time and he is set free to become the 2nd in the kingdom because of his faithfulness.
Now the truth of this whole story is God gives Joseph dreams and visions of his future and guarantees he will be a wise and powerful man and he will lead his family, but the hardships he endures is not how we would achieve such a goal, but because of the disciplines and hardships he endures, his character is developed. Our characters are no different and I’m sure Joe had a few bad days like the one in the bottom of the well. The funny part about it is when Joseph was handing out the grain, no one really reminded him of the days at the bottom of wells and prisons… I’m sure they hoped he’d forgotten… I’m sure I’ll forget my dark days as well… but I swear some days I think God has forgotten about me…