Ugly Truth of Reality

I watch others posts on Facebook on a daily basis. I watch Christian women post things to each other and put up scripture and watch as people who you didn't really know went to church, become amazing prayer warrior when it comes to someone asking for prayer. Some days it becomes downright nauseating to read when you know they just "LOOOOOVVVVEEE" one another, but if shoved into a realistic place of being in a tight spot, they would become like a cornered wolf.

Most Christians are kind people who go about their daily business, but I wonder if they would call themselves such if they were faced with death? If someone put a gun to their heads.. how many would eventually give up and decide their faith wasn't that important?? I couldnt' tell you either way about my faith either, but I do know that I have come to the crossroads in my life and my true character was revealed and it wasn't pretty. I was judged pretty harshly by these so-called Christians so forgive me if I am quite repulsed by it today.

Our churches are filled with leaders today who are OVERCOMING champions in their own lives and so people believe them to be naturally gifted leaders or spiritually led and annointed folks. Confidence marks most of these folks and they love to lead people who need leading. Most of them are about as spiritually gifted as this cup of coffee on my desk. They will always look good in suits and have money because successful people always rise to the top. They just do.

I caution myself anymore about the folks I label as Godly.. I look back on many who were Christians in my early years with great admiration. They are wonderful people, but I promise you if you crossed one of them, some wouldn't react so Godly.. crazy isn't it??
I struggle these days not to look at them or ANY of the christians I have met as anything more than folks who try hard. The Godliest ones among them to me are the ones who admit that outside of the Love of God, they are complete losers and would probably be somewhere warming a jailcell if they had not been saved. Humility is not false. It's not someone trying to tell me they shouldn't recieve accolades for a great work they just completed.. its someone who knows on the frontside that they will probably blow it again.. but because Christ loves them, they are willing to give it a whirl.

The ugly truth of reality to me is we are deceived. I long to be a real Christian, but for now I am a game player. Maybe I'll get there one day, but this is my life right now...