This post will be reminiscent of the many I will probably post that will have the most impact on why I did this. Someone asked recently.. why post a daily intimate journal online for public viewing.. well... I am an open book.. I have much to say and I know some of you have answers for me as I still have very much to learn so I invite your wisdom and your comments..
I am typing in my room and my sons sit watching television one room away..I am typing my intimate thoughts and being vulnerable as I have learned this is actually who I am and my sons are watching The 300 in the other room. I long to be where they are as I am one who is totally male and aggressive and long for the daily fight of staying alive.. but I am also one who's heart is tender and torn watching a church rip itself apart with judgements and anger.. such is NOT the way of Christs plan for the body. I could bore you to tears with verses of scripture explaining God's desire for his children and I also long to tear another man apart some days as well.. is that bi polar? no.. I have explained.. that I am a walking dichotomy.. a total contradiction in terms.. but I also am passionate about both... I long to heal the body and heal others or portray a help in that matter, but I also long to kill lions with my bare hands.. is that bad? Idk.. I hope not.. I just know I am a passionate man both ways.. maybe my passion for one will fuel the other? maybe? I long for millions to be touched but I can't answer you that now...
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